CLOWN
INDCTMENT OF THE PHANTOM AT PEAR TREE BOTTOM, ST. ANN, JAMAICA
I,
Auntie Brigadier General Consultant Clown Sundoc, Defender of Caribbean Coasts,
Preserver of Purity, Justice, Honesty and Innocence of Spirit
Do
hereby indict and condemn to harshest penalties the evil entity known
henceforth as
The
Phantom of Pear Tree Bottom
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Reading
Clown Indictment for The Children Whose Birthright I will protect
Ay, You messin wid di wrong clown,
I tell you! An I gwine lick yuh wid mi big ole balloon whip right where it
hurts you most: YOUR BIG FAT POCKETS!!!!
For insulting
our intelligence at the April 28, 2005 Public Meeting in the United Church Hall
by dismissing our concerns, preventing us from speaking, boring us to snores,
calling us liars indirectly by twisting the truth and making a mockery of us
with deceptive pretty pictures meant to conceal abomination, Phantom must pay
·
$1,000,000.00 US Dollars to every
school in St. Ann to improve the education of the population so that they'll
never be made fools of again.
·
$1000.00 US Dollars Christmas
bonus as an apology to every teacher in the Parish of St. Ann for the next 5
years.
·
In humble service, every Spanish
speaking employee at the Pear Tree Bottom Phantom site must visit a school once
weekly for two hours, providing Spanish courses free of cost to our children so
they understand Phantom language in future and are not confused.
For failure
to arrange the second public meeting promised to the Runaway Bay Community at
the April 28, 2005 Public Meeting in the United Church Hall and sneakily
proceeding with your evil work against our wishes, Phantom must pay
- $50,000.00 Jamaican Dollars to the
Runaway Bay Action Committee for sandwiches and tea at their meetings
every year for the next five years.
- $500,000.00 Jamaican Dollars to the RB
United Church for defiling their premises with lies.
- Transportation Costs for every
participant who wasted time, energy and gas money attending that
farce—fun and interesting though it was.
For cutting
and burning trees prematurely before the period for public response ended and
lying to us blatantly with that tongue in cheek reference to
"selectivity"
And creating ugly
sludge sediment on what was once a world renowned coral reef of unique,
irretrievable aesthetic, ecological and scientific value Phantom must pay!!!
·
$1,000,000.00 US Dollars to the
SOS-Wildlife fund every year for the next five years to preserve what little is
left around here to preserve.
·
$10,000,000.00 US Dollars to a
Posterity Fund and towards establishment of a wildlife reserve at Phantom site
should the present Phantom entity vacate the premises.
·
Environmental Asylum contract
endorsed by Spanish Ambassador to any Runaway Bay citizen who desires to
relocate to Spain in the next 100 years.
For the workers who were injured
or lost their lives at the phantom site: PHANTOM MUST PAY following (BLOOD MONEY)!
- $100,000.00 US Dollars compensation for
the afflicted families.
- Cost of education for all the children to the end
of first degree university level.
- Free five star vacations abroad every year for
two weeks for the next ten years.
For the police force: 3
squad cars, 8 additional officers, Christmas bonus yearly to be negotiated by
RB Action Committee.
For the Post Office: 3
Shade Trees
For NSWMA Employees
who had to pick up nasty waste because illegal vendors came where we were
promised they would not: $500.00 US Dollars to each complainant.
For the vendors who
were promised placement and who remain stranded on the public beach while
craftspeople from Trelawny occupy positions instead of them:$1000.00
US Dollars compensation plus five year Contracts for selling products on
Phantom Grounds.
For NJCA :
- $2,000,000.00
US Dollars compensation for project funding lost due to malicious intent
and deliberate ostracizing of the institution by Phantom Agents as
retribution for daring to speak the truth and do the right thing.
- Public
Acclamation in form of becoming the First Institution awarded National
Hero Status
For JET: 5 years funding for the Schools
Environmental Programme
Warning: Dis list ain't done yet, but ah tired. An di
res can wait til Peace treaty sign.
AH Gawn
Auntie B
Oops, I nearly forgot this one,
You wicked Phantom, for stealing linen in guests'
rooms and making bathrooms disappear and messing with air conditioning and
casting spells on the employees to make them think all-inclusive guests had to
pay entrance fees/ bribes for seating and in general making disappointed
tourists go online to sully Jamaica's reputation in the crucial tourist
industry everybody's banking on…YOU, PHANTOM MUST PAY
$10,000,000.00 US Dollare to the Tourisme Enhancement
fund as reparation every year for the next five years, plus if I find the
people who suffred indignities and paid five star money for less than stellar
performance on your grounds, Phantom I will let every last one of them haul
your sore bottom before Ronnie Thwaites in Jamaican TV Court so our people can
learn once and for all wickedness doan pay!
BUT
As I know, no Phantom exists and reliable sources
assure me nuttin no go so, this must all have been a bad dream. What a relief!!
Gone back to bed.
Auntie